Bisexual erasure

Before I even had an interest in sex, I learned from peers that homosexuality existed and that it was "bad". So when looking at pretty girls gave me fluttery little feelings in my throat, I told myself that it was because I was jealous and wanted to be as pretty as they were. When I started to work, I had several gay coworkers (and many, many gay superiors), and I unlearned a lot of the taught prejudice. Simultaneously, I learned about bisexuality in much the same way I'd learned about homosexuality. I'd have to say that bisexuality bothered me more than homosexuality, but then again, I was a teenager by now and was bothered by sexuality in general. I finally admitted to myself that I was attracted to girls in my late teens, when my very attractive friend was pretending to wrestle me--in a super skimpy bikini. No, I didn't question my attraction to boys--I didn't want to challenge my access to heteronormative privilege. The idea was /literally/ unthinkable, as in I could not form the idea in my head. I can only actually question my attraction to men now, as an adult, after I've been married to a "man" for 5 years and find myself increasingly attracted to her as she transitions. So am I bisexual or homosexual? Without getting into salacious details, I'm pretty sure I'm bisexual. But, overall, I didn't --and don't-- make a big deal out of it. Various factors make me feel like I don't have a "right" to claim this aspect of my identity (nevermind the outright hostility I've witnessed in the gay and straight communities against "so-called" bisexuals). It really is crazy how strongly people want to identify you as gay or straight. It really stands out when you, like me, have been seen with a "man" and a woman. Even in online communities, where people know that I married a "man" and have stayed with her as she transitions, people will refer to me as a lesbian. *I* will slip up and refer to myself (and my wife) as a lesbian, when I know better.